I dont want to understand anything....

Today I cried....
My mum just told me how selfish and greedy of luxuries when I disagreed on the ways my parent tries to help her bro for his new company.

They don’t understand my worries……. And things I think of.

How much expenses we have to deal and the problems of it to face when they agreed to help….

She told me I should look for brighter side and a person’s life is destiny to eat how much.

If a person’s life is being judge by the destiny whether he or she can eat how much then

What for I work hard, what for I still going to stress myself to study.
Why I don’t just stay at home and sleep and shopping…..since I was destined by fate.

Sometime I really want to tell people how much things I’m facing, yet they only tell me I just think too much and I am lucky to have things when people don’t have.

When I was a poor shit of it, what I got are only people laughing, and reject when ask for help. My parent kind hearted made me to face the battle of these cheaters and assholes.

Yet my parent only thinks I turning into a selfish and greedy person. I want to keep the money to myself when they died.

I also hope to live in a happy little life with no facing of war battles everyday in my life.

But I understand I can’t turn back, too much people around me want to see how dreadful I can be and soon will start stepping on top of me and my family.

I can't talk to them , as they already think badly on me , i only can write into my blog where they can't see or maybe no one will see...

I really love my family but I guess the karma is already turning right around and bitting me hard in the heart.

People around me sometime give the impression that i just being too hash yet no one know that i need to protect myself as no one will protect me. I just wanna being true to myself and not acting to be kind hearted.

I can't talk as i can't express myself , only the songs which i hope they will hear one day understand the meaning of it...



不想懂得 - 张韶涵

当世界 不知不觉的变了
有时候 我怀念以前的我
作的梦 虽然远远的
想象是 一种快乐
拥有了 同时也失去什么
而眷恋 原来会带来软弱
你让我再无力承受
心开始曲折
我不想舍得 不想懂得
是谁惹谁 言不由衷
说谎伤害 都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么
我不想舍得 不想懂得
谁说割爱 才更深刻
彼此依赖 是爱不是负荷
互相照顾就是 幸福的
当世界 不知不觉的变了
有时候 我怀念以前的我
作的梦 虽然远远的
想象是 一种快乐
拥有了 同时也失去什么
而眷恋 原来会带来软弱
你让我再无力承受
心开始曲折
我不想舍得 不想懂得
是谁惹谁 言不由衷
说谎伤害 都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么
我不想舍得 不想懂得
谁说割爱 才更深刻
彼此依赖 是爱不是负荷
能握着手就是 感动的
我愿意 一秒钟放弃全宇宙
挤在只有我们紧靠的小星球
我不想舍得 不想懂得
是谁惹谁 言不由衷
说谎伤害 都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么
我多不舍得 多不懂得
谁说割爱 才更深刻
彼此依赖 是爱不是负荷
能握着手就是 感动的
说谎伤害 都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么
我多不舍得 多不懂得
谁说割爱 才更深刻
彼此依赖 是爱不是负荷
能握着手就是 感动的